Unmarried by Choice

A while back, I bumped into a friend. We started chatting and talking about people that we both know. Then she mentioned that someone moved in her boyfriend and bought a townhouse together. I gave her an apathetic “oh?” because I was not really interested about it. But then she said “Naunahan ka pa niya” (”she moved in with her boyfriend before you did”). Pfft.


Honestly, I felt insulted.


I was offended by the insinuation that I was in some kind of a race with other couples. I was offended by the insinuation that the only reason I am not married or shacking up with my boyfriend is because he hasn’t asked me yet.


First and foremost, I am not ready to get into that kind commitment…yet. I can’t even sign a contract for a cellphone plan, what more if it’s that kind of relationship? I am not even twenty five years old. In the Filipino culture, I am already a few years closer to being an old maid, but who says I’m traditional?


Secondly, I don’t believe in living together before getting married. I am an open minded person but I just don’t believe in that. I am not saying people who do that are sinners or whatever, I am just not that person. Whatever two consenting adults do in their own time is nobody’s business but their own. If they wanna live together, so be it. I’m just not the living together kind of gal.


I am gonna get married when I am ready. I am not getting married until I am emotionally ready. Not that I can’t commit, I am in a soon-to-be-a-5-year-old relationship, that should count for something, right? I am not getting married until I am financially independent. I don’t want to depend on anyone for money.


I guess I should just ignore her. I’m in a stable relation ship with a man who is very kind, supportive, understanding and just simply wonderful, anyway. (Bass, you owe me dinner just for saying this. Kidding!)


But I am not being myself if I won’t mention it.

12 Responses to “Unmarried by Choice”

  1. Angela Says:

    Yung iba talaga nakakainis kapag kinukumpara ka sa ibang tao and they expect you to do the same (parang yung the whole “ay, ba’t di nursing?” issue, di ba?). :\

    May example ako dito pero ikukuwento ko na lang senyo ni Jaq at Sybil pag nagkasabay tayo sa bus, mahirap na eh. XDDD

  2. pisceanangel Says:


    magpakasal ka na kasi. o kaya, gawa tayo “wedding pics” nyo ni bass, post mo para matahimik ang mga tao. lol.

    bruk… excited na akong magshopping!!! hahaha.

  3. lah-lah Says:

    hey ren! nice new site! musta na? ey, finally, im resurrecting my blog na (totoo na promise!). i made a short post na because i have to organize my thoughts muna. i have a feeling i owe my fans (led by their president and founding chairwoman karen garcia) a lot of explanation teehee! uhm, favor? uhm, my icons are not working except the lemons which pretty much describe the rutty situation i am in now. miss u na, my best-est best pal in the whole wide universe! keep in touch soon! love you

  4. niceheart Says:

    Well, good for you, Karen. Don’t be pressured by your friends. I wasn’t ready when I got married. And it not had been easy. Enjoy being single for now. 🙂

  5. Karen Says:

    angela: sige ha…aabangan ko kwento mo! baka nga pala hindi ako makapunta bukas ha? aalis yata kami. pero i’ll try my best. thanks sa pag-iinvite.

    jaq: ayaw!!! i mean sa kasal. sa shopping oo ;).

  6. Karen Says:

    lalah: nabuhay ka! sent you and email friend! mwahh! welcome back :).

    niceheart: thanks for the input. that’s what i’m trying to do kasi di ba pag may family, yun munang hapiness ng family ang priority. kaya magpapaka-selfsih muna ako ;).

  7. eponine Says:

    i’m 25 y/o, i’m not “married” and my bf and i have been together for almost 7 yrs. well, karen i guess we’re on the same boat.. ^.^”

  8. Karen Says:

    wow…7 years? that’s a long time. congratulations :).

  9. nikki Says:

    hi karen!

    you’re right, just ignore her. if you were meant to be w/ Bass, even after 10 years, you’ll end up w/ him. so no rush, enjoy what you have together.

    miss you!

  10. Leslie Says:

    I don’t know, my auties are like that, too. Everytime I see them, that is the big question:


    and Fuck, I don’t wanna get married yet.

    Not now at least.

    Ignore her, she’s a moron. At least you got everything figured out.

    Take care now

  11. Karen Says:

    doc nikki: oo nga doc, kahit she’s so annoying talaga.

    para naman tayong lovers sa sopa opera, hindi magkatagpo tagpo sa ym ;)! miss our chikahan!

    le: bakit kaya ganon no? parang ung self worth mo na lang ay sa pagiging isang asawa at nanay.

  12. Leslie Says:

    Karen, di na ngayon. Siguro yung iba, nandoon pa yung mentality nila, pero most of the ladies now get married late… cno ba sila? Paburen me. Sira ya buntok yan.


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