Idleness is the Enemy of the Soul

I haven’t had a goodnight sleep in a while. I usually go to bed at 4 in the morning. That itself is already considered a very late bedtime (or early depending on your sense of humour). But no matter how late I turn in, I still spend a good hour or two tossing and turning fighting off the feeling of not wanting to sleep. Yes, I don’t want to sleep only to wake up the next day and spend the day doing nothing but watch TV, eat or even take a nap whenever I wanted to. That sounds like a good deal for a lot of people who needed a break from working too much. Not for someone who’s been doing nothing. Someone like me.

Not that my life is a wreck. I have a great family, friends and a wonderful boyfriend. I consider myself to be a lucky gal surrouned with loving people like them. But I guess for a person with the attention span of a first grader, I need other things to do. I want to be able to do something where in multitasking does not equal to using the computer, watching tv, eating and talking on the phone at the same time.

Not that I don’t have anything to do around here. Household chores will always be there. I have no problem doing that. Modesty aside, I am an excellent worker. I work very fast and efficient. And I guess that’s what my problem is. I am a very fast worker which just means I have more time to do other things. What those other things are, I don’t know.

Not that I’m not trying. I’ve been looking for a job for a couple of months now. I’ve had a couple of interviews and I have yet to find out the results. I am so sick of being broke. I don’t like asking money from anyone, even my parents. I want to spend money I’ve worked for. But lately, I had to swallow my pride and take money from them. I don’t like it that whenever we go out, Bass would be that one footing the bill of wherever we go to. When I used to have a job, I always isisted on paying half or at least get my turn in paying. I don’t always succeed on convincing him to let me pay, but at least I offered.

But getting a job when I go to school fulltime is not the greatest thing that could happen to me. Aside from the demands of the academia, I still have to rake up hours for my volunteer jobs. I need to get as much volunteer experience when I apply for grad school next year. I also need to do other activities that I think will boost up my chances of getting in. The need of earning my own money is great, however, the need to volunteer is greater. I could do both if weren’t only for my erratic class schedule this term. I only have one class (and a lab) that I find problematic schedule-wise BUT I need that class so I guess I haven’t got a choice.

I’m done ranting for now so I will hit the “Publish” button in a few. And then I’ll be back doing nothing.

I’ve always had a sunny disposition in life, but not right now. I feel so useless.

7 Responses to “Idleness is the Enemy of the Soul”

  1. duke Says:

    I understand your situation pretty well. I normally wake up late since I have nothing much to do.
    Don’t feel useless. I’m sure after school things would be different. You can pick up a good hobby that wouldn’t cost you an arm and a leg 🙂

  2. Karen Says:

    hi duke! it’s a feeling i try my best to ignore, but once in a while i can’t help it. and i really hope it’ll be a different after school.
    for now i decided to try drawing again…although i must say my hands are a bit rusty ;). thanks and take care!

  3. pisceanangel Says:

    hahaha. we feel the same thing.

  4. Angela Says:

    Pareho kayo ng entry ni Jaq!

    Hmmm, try mo sa Shoppers, lilipat na kami sa October eh, Not sure if they’re hiring but since lalaki yung location they probably need some people. The hours are flexible naman so you might want to try. Same goes with Jaq. 🙂

  5. Patrice Says:

    Hi Karen,

    Don’t feel too bad! I was in the same situation as you. When I first came to the US, 1 1/2 year akong hindi nag-work. I disliked asking for money from my husband (kahit husband ko siya)because I was used to spending my own money. In your case, you have your parents. My aunt once said, as long as you live under one roof with your parents, they will always feel responsible for you (and it also means you would have to abide with their rules sa well). Look on the brighter side, siguro may ADHD ka. Hehe, joke lang! Miss you girl!

  6. Karen Says:

    jaq: lol. di bale malapit na tayong yumaman. mahirap talagang mawalan ng pera ang mga waldas na kagaya nating dalawa. hehe.

    gela: thanks. i might give i a try. hinihintay ko pa kasi yung result ng interview ko sa umsu, sana matanggap. if not try ko yung sa shoppers.

  7. Karen Says:

    pat: hello! musta ka na? feeling ko nga minsan may AHDH ako ;). i guess it’s not too bad asking money, esp. na wala naman talagang kaso sa parents ko yun. ako lang naman ang mapride :-D. miss you na rin di na kita nakikita sa ym, e.

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